I'M CHRISWILLIAMS.

This is my corner of the internet. There is no pitch.

The toys are grabbable. Obviously.

Scroll. It gets weirder.

The person

ABOUT.

I'm Chris. I lift heavy things, chase little white balls into the woods, drink bourbon neat, and lose modest sums of money at poker and options with roughly equal enthusiasm. This is my corner of the internet. There is no pitch.

I live in Charleston, South Carolina with a French Bulldog who runs the household. I build things for a living, but that is a different website. This one is about everything else.

Charleston, SC

Me and Lulu. She photographs better.

  • lifter
  • golfer
  • bourbon guy
  • PLO degenerate
  • dog chauffeur
  • no filler

Chapter one

GOLF.

22.8 Handicap index

Handicap index · 2026-07-20

I chase little white balls into the woods most weekends. The number above is real and it is pulled live, which the internet did not need to know.

GHIN says so. It updates weekly whether I want it to or not.

Drag back from the ball. Let go. Regret.

Chapter two

IRON.

45

lb on the bar

Competitive powerlifting background. Actual meets, actual singlet, actual judges telling me no. These days I lift because it is cheaper than therapy and heavier.

Squat
440lb
Bench
374lb
Deadlift
587lb

Best meet: 1401 total. It did not feel light.

Tap plates to load the bar. Tap them again to strip it.

45 pounds on the bar

Chapter three

BOURBON.

The pour is two fingers.

Michter's 10, if we are celebrating.

Neat, obviously.

Kidding about the ice.

Never ice.

  • rye spice
  • oak
  • dark cherry
  • regret is not a note

Yes, the good bottle is technically a rye. Do not email me. There is no email.

Chapter four

CARDS.

PLO, cash and tournaments. Four cards, twice the outs, half the discipline. This demo deals five because you learned poker from movies and I respect that.

Chapter five

MARKETS.

The portfolio, emotionally. Not financial advice. Barely financial anything.

Bought the top. Conviction.
Earnings play. It did not earn.
Sold the bottom. Professional.
Theta is undefeated.
Averaged down. Twice.
Back to even. A miracle.

Up roughly nothing. Entertained the whole way.

The main event

LULU.

The best thing on this page.

It is not close.

Click her. She is friendly.

THAT'S IT.

No pitch. No newsletter. No funnel. Two links and a dog.